When a woman or couple finds out they are unexpectedly pregnant, adoption is one of the pregnancy options they may consider. Life's Choices is not an adoption agency, but we are an organization that supports women facing difficult pregnancy decisions. We have free resources and information on women's pregnancy options to help women make informed decisions.
Adoption is a complicated, difficult, and wonderful choice for many moms. It’s more common than you may think: an estimated 120,000 adoptions happen in the U.S. each year, and over half of all Americans know someone who has been adopted, adopted a child or placed their child for adoption.
However, many people have an initial negative response to adoption. Here are some common questions we hear from pregnant clients, many of them based on misconceptions.
Will choosing adoption make me a bad mother? Isn’t it selfish?
By choosing adoption and fully engaging in the process (such as taking care of herself during pregnancy and selecting the best possible parents to raise her child), a birth mother is making a sacrificial and loving choice for her child. Studies show a baby raised by adopted parents will enjoy many of the same positive life outlooks as children raised by two biological parents.
I’ve known too many foster children who have been mistreated. How can I let that happen?
This is a complicated but honest question. It’s important to realize that:
When you place your child for adoption, they do not go into the foster care system.
Approximately 2 million families are waiting to adopt a child, and out of those 2 million, the birth mother gets to vet and choose which family she wants to adopt her baby. She is in control. She determines the future of her child, not the foster care system.
Birth mothers get to choose what kind of adoption, whether it is closed, open, or semi-open.
When a birth mom picks adoption, she is in the driver's seat. She should work with a reputable adoption agency and be given a choice of parents who could potentially adopt her child. While the timeline and laws vary by state, a birth mom has lots of options going forward and even the opportunity to stay in contact with her child once the adoption is final.
Will my baby feel abandoned?
It is common for adopted children to potentially struggle with psychological issues including fear of abandonment and feelings of grief and loss. These are challenges of adoption that will need to be cared for by the adoptive parents and the communities supporting them.
However, open adoption creates an avenue for birth mothers to maintain a close relationship with their child, with terms stipulated and designed by the birth mother. This can heavily mitigate the otherwise negative psychological issues adoption can have on children, and also allows the biological mother to maintain an emotionally rewarding relationship with her child, even though she is not ready to assume all of the responsibilities of financially and physically supporting and caring for a child.
Life's Choices is Here For You
At Life’s Choices, we have classes, videos, and resources to help birth moms decide if adoption is the right choice for them. We also can provide a list of reputable adoption agencies to consider and a non-judging environment to talk things through. Whether you’re considering parenting, adoption, or abortion, please contact us today for free educational resources as you make your decision.